My Father's Letters

Our daughter Jordan was home last week. Recently engaged, she asked me what I knew about her grandparent's engagement since neither of them are around to tell her about it.

They were high school teachers in Dawson Creek when Dawson Creek was young. They were a bit older than most of their colleagues- Dad was a WW II pilot and an engineer before he became a teacher, Mom had a degree in Commerce and a Masters Degree from the U of A, but neither had found their "soulmate." As the only two single teachers at their school, they were frequently thrown together at staff events. Before long, they started going around together. Then they became an "item". Then they started wondering if they were just together because they were the only two single people they knew. Or maybe that the one thing they had in common was that they were both teachers. My dad got cold feet. He resigned his job, got a new one in Victoria, and went to Syracuse New York to take summer school courses in teaching special ed, which was for some reason the area he, as a decorated WW II pilot with an engineering degree, had been assigned. My mom stayed behind.  They wrote back and forth. My mom went on a cruise to Alaska to mend her broken heart. Out of the blue, my dad proposed.

"I know their story," I told Jordan.  "And I have his letter of proposal."

Stored away in a box of paper, my dad's love letters to my mom, in his perfect penmanship, written with a fountain pen in turquoise ink. Eleven letters I had never had the nerve to read. Eleven letters that went with her from Dawson Creek to Victoria to Trail, back to Dawson Creek, to Tumbler Ridge, and finally back to Victoria. Details both personal  and mundane. Why did she save them? Mementos of their early life together? A symbol of his love? Did she mean for anyone else to read them? I think she did. 

So I gave them to my daughter to read, and on a road trip to the airport from whence she would return to her adopted nation and her fiance, Jordan read them all with gasps and laughter and the occasional "Oh Granddad!"

 Here they are!

My mom and dad

How Not To Say "I'm Sorry"

I am sorry you interpreted it that way.

That's not what I meant.

I''m truly sorry if I hurt your feelings.

In my defense...

I apologize if you were offended.

It was a joke: sorry you didn't get it. 

I didn't intend to disrespect you.

You misunderstood what I was trying to say.

I can see now that what I said might have been taken that way, however...

Back to School

So.

You're in the first staff meeting and there's this old teacher, y'all know that guy.

The guy with the cardigan and the coffee mug he's been drinking out of for 20 years, and he's like, "Nope, we did that back in '74 and it didn't work."

The guy that's all, "Been there, done that." The guy that's so old his cliches make you roll your eyes.

And you're thinking, like, "Old man. Wake up and smell the coffee.Things ain't like the way they used to be."

And he's like, "Sorry honey, but I bin around the block a time or two. I was young like you once, I tried a bunch of new ideas, some of them worked, most of them didn't."

And you're still like. "Yeah but I'm new and my ideas are awesome and no old geezer is gonna tell me what's what."

And he's like, "Take my advice, I am older and wiser. Go down that road and you're gonna regret it."

And you're like, "Old man, give it up, your days are numbered and I'm the future."

So you go ahead and try your funky new ideas and damned if the old man wasn't right and the new ways didn't exactly work but dammit you're not admitting to nothing, cause, you know, you're proud  and you worked hard and maybe you just didn't implement it right or maybe if the goddamned old man would have helped you out just a little, you could have made it work. 

And then...

And then...

You're in the first staff meeting of the year and there's these new teachers, y'all know the ones.

The ones that are cute and fun and have trendy outfits, and they're like, "Let's try this, it would be so fun and cool!"

And you put down your coffee mug and say "This ain't my first rodeo." or "Been there, done that, got the T-shirt."

And in the middle of wondering why no one listens to you and why don't they value your institutional memory and how is it you just know that when you say you tried that already and it didn't work, they're just gonna go and do it anyway? And then you think back to that very first staff meeting and you think maybe just maybe years ago you should have listened to the wisdom of your elders instead of doing it your own way. But you know you never would have and they won't either and the wheels keep on being re-invented and it was ever thus and would you really want it any other way? 

Ideologies are for other people

Jason Kenney and Brian Jean like to say the policies of the NDP are "ideologically driven".

They say the word "ideology" like it's a dirty word. Something only bad people have.

As if their socially and fiscally conservative ideas are not part of an ideology.

What they really mean is that they prefer that conservative set of beliefs over those that are more progressive.

Ideologies are not in and of themselves, evil. Everyone has an ideology. Everyone has a set of beliefs about the nature of humanity that informs their views about how society should operate. Unless your intellectual functioning is so low that you are unable to construct abstract thoughts, you have an ideology.  Brian Jean has an ideology. Jason Kenney has an ideology. They are lying if they say only the NDP operates based on ideological principles.

An ideology is defined as "a system of ideas and ideals, especially one that forms the basis of economic or political theory and policy." How on earth could the United Conservative Party NOT have an ideology? 

In today's Social Studies programme of studies in Alberta (created when Ralph Klein was premier) students learn that ideologies are based on interpretations of history, beliefs about human nature, beliefs about the structure of society and visions for the future.  We may not all have thought deeply about these issues, but we all have core beliefs that inform our ideas. And based on those ideas, we formulate what we think is the best way forward for ourselves and our society. And then we vote.

What is your interpretation of history? If you are an aboriginal person in Canada, your interpretation of Canada's history will not be the same as mine. Your view of colonialism will be one of oppression and injustice and betrayal. For people like me, the perspective will be more about the opportunities that led to a good life for generations of my family. Mr. Kenney's interpretation of our history seems to be that it began when the first white man set foot on our shores. It's about venerating a past based on land appropriation and unfulfilled promises. Kenney believes colonialism is a "politically correct theme" and that the glorification of our military is of greater importance than other, more painful aspects of our past. 

What are your thoughts about human nature? Are people intrinsically selfish and greedy and therefore need to be controlled? Or is there a human desire to do the right thing so that we can all live well together? Are most people lazy? Are all cultures and genders equal? Or are some more deserving than others?  Those ideas impact the platform and policy of every political party and government, including our former PC government, the NDP, the Alberta Liberal Party, the Alberta Party and the United Conservative Party. 
How should society be structured?  Should there be social classes? Should the rich help pay for services to the poor? Should there be few rules and limited taxation and correspondingly few government services? User-pay own healthcare and education? Or a larger role for government where everyone pays in and everyone benefits? The UCP has clear ideas about the structure of society-ideas that are the very foundation of their party.

Question from a recent survey from Brian Jean.

And what about visions for the future? What should it look like? A multicultural land where there are equal opportunities for all, or a land for "old stock" Canadians? Should a government try to go backwards in time to "Make Alberta Great" again? Or should it move boldly forward to a new future that includes everyone, including our aboriginal people? Will it be a place where the price of oil magically increases, providing employment and government revenue? Or a place where we have created alternative employment opportunities for a prosperous future? 

Having an ideology doesn't make you a bad person. Admitting you have one just makes you honest.