Tuesday, 2 August 2016

Top Ten Reasons Jason Kenney is Touring Alberta in a Pickup

Today Jason Kenney began a truck tour of Alberta to drum up support for his bid to become leader of Alberta's Progressive Conservatives and "Unite Alberta" in the way only a guy in a Dodge Ram can do.

Kenney will tour the province in a truck the colour of the Alberta flag, bunking in with friends he hasn't met yet so he can get to know the "real" Alberta, apparently including the non-existent town of "Whitelock" which he announced he would visit early in his tour.




Mr. Kenney currently sits as an elected Conservative MP for the riding of Calgary-Midnapore with a yearly salary of more than $170,000. Generally, elected officials in Canada use the time when the legislature is not sitting to visit their constituencies and serve the people who elected them. Not so the former Liberal-turned-Reform-turned Conservative Mr. Kenney who apparently feels the time is right to capitalize on his knowledge of government misspending obtained during his tenure as first executive director of the Alberta Taxpayers Association, an organization to which very few Alberta taxpayers belong.

Why is Kenney touring the province in a pickup? My top ten list.
  1. Wants to find out the correct place names of Alberta towns. Which he never learned due to the "social engineering" rampant in our school system.
  2. Gotta have a gun rack, bro
  3. Mom never let him drive a truck when he was a kid 
  4. Needs to fit in with the guys in the parking lot when his buds are watching the peelers
  5. How else will he haul the quad?
  6. Wants to take advantage of the cheap cost of fuel before Notley's carbon tax kicks in.
  7. Chicks dig a guy with a truck
  8. Looking for places where he won't even see a niqab.
  9. Prius don't run so good in wintertime.
  10. Truck nuts don't fit on the Taurus

Seriously. 

Jason Kenney.
You haven't lived in Alberta for nearly 20 years. 
You wear a suit every day.
You listen to Gregorian chants on your Ipod.

And you're couch surfing Alberta in a pickup?