Social Studies Teacher Laments a Lifetime of Accomplishing Absolutely Nothing

WEST BUTTE ALBERTA    A retired Albertan educator is demoralized after learning that his former students learned absolutely nothing during their 12+ years of public education.

      "I didn't think they were all paying attention in class," said 63 year old Social Studies teacher Grant McIteer of West Butte, Alberta, "but I wasn't thinking it was quite this bad. I can't help but wonder what I was doing wrong all those years I taught high school." Upon learning more than 56,000 Albertans believed they could remove a majority government from power based on an online petition, he shook his head and continued, "I can accept the poor spelling and bad grammar. I can even accept that no matter what I do, some students still believe Hitler was a communist. But the fundamentally flawed understanding of the democratic process is a bit hard to take." Echoing the sentiments of dozens of teachers across the province, McIteer continued, "Recent events have called into question whatever it was that I thought I had accomplished after more than 30 years as a teacher." 

     When reached for comment, an unidentified representative of the province's Ministry of Education stated "We're not really sure what to think at this point. Alberta has an excellent curriculum and traditionally one of the best records in the world when it comes to test scores. So to learn a significant number of Albertans believe they can call on the unelected Lieutenant Governor to overturn democratically enacted legislation is a bit confusing." 

     Rumours of a Royal Commission are unfounded at this point, but something the government has not ruled out. "Something went wrong, there is no doubt about it. We're just not sure what."